There are a lot of myths about raising kids with two languages, and we hear some of the same ones from parents over and over again. So we wanted to go through a few of the big ones and what research has actually found.
Myth #1: Learning two languages confuses children
No! Babies can actually tell languages apart before they can speak.
Researchers have studied infants growing up hearing two languages and found that they learn to distinguish between them very early. Kids also figure out which languages different people speak. A child might speak Mandarin with Grandma and English with their teacher, for example.
Bilingual kids do mix languages, but that doesn’t mean they’re confused. They might say, “Quiero the red one,” or start a sentence in Mandarin and finish it in English. Sometimes they know a word in one language and not the other. Sometimes that word just came to mind first. Bilingual adults do this too.
Myth #2: Bilingual kids have delayed speech
Learning two languages does not cause a speech delay.
Bilingual children reach early language milestones at around the same ages as monolingual children. The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association also specifically says that using more than one language does not cause or worsen speech or language problems.
One thing that can make this confusing is vocabulary. Imagine a bilingual child knows 50 words in English and another 30 in Spanish. If you only measure their English, it looks like they know 50 words. You’re missing a pretty big part of what they know.
That doesn’t mean every bilingual child will develop at exactly the same pace, just like every monolingual child doesn’t develop at exactly the same pace. But learning two languages itself isn’t the cause of a language disorder.
Myth #3: You have to do “one parent, one language”
You might have heard that Mom should always speak Spanish and Dad should always speak English, or vice versa.
You can absolutely do that, and we know many families who have. But don't think that not doing one parent, one language means your kid will not be bilingual.
Some families speak Mandarin at home and let English come from school. Some use both languages at home. Some kids speak one language mostly with their grandparents. Other families switch languages depending on what they’re doing or who they’re with.
There isn’t one family language setup that research says everyone has to follow. The bigger question is whether your child is actually getting enough time hearing and using the language.
Myth #4: You have to be fluent to teach your child another language
This one stops a lot of parents before they even start.
You don’t need perfect Spanish to bring Spanish into your child’s life. If you know some, use what you know. You can read books together, learn songs, watch or listen to stories, spend time with people who speak the language, or learn new words together.
And you don’t have to be the only source of the language. Grandparents, babysitters, immersion schools, friends, community programs and tools like Phoenyx can all give a child more people to hear and talk to.
Of course, someone who hears Mandarin for twenty minutes a week isn’t going to learn Mandarin the same way as a child who hears it for hours every day. The amount and quality of exposure still matter. You just don’t personally have to be fluent for your child to start learning.
Myth #5: If my child answers me in English, they’re losing the other language
We hear this one constantly.
A parent speaks to their child in Mandarin. The child clearly understands the question—and answers in English.
Understanding a language and speaking it aren’t the same skill. A child can understand much more Mandarin or Spanish than they’re comfortable producing themselves, especially once English becomes the language they use all day at school and with friends.
That doesn’t mean you should ignore it. If a child almost never has a reason to speak a language, they’re obviously getting less practice speaking it. Over time, English can become easier and easier while the other language becomes something they mostly understand.
But an English answer doesn’t mean the Mandarin or Spanish is suddenly gone.
We’ve actually written a whole separate post about this because we hear it from so many families: why kids can understand a language perfectly well and still refuse to speak it.
So, what should parents actually worry about?
Mostly whether the language has a real place in your child’s life.
Do they hear it regularly? Are there people they can use it with? Do they ever need to answer in it? Can they use it while playing, talking to family, reading, singing, telling stories or just being silly?
It doesn’t have to be perfectly organized. You don’t need a strict 50/50 split. And your child mixing languages sometimes isn’t evidence that you’ve done something wrong.
Two languages can coexist just fine.
